Tuesday, May 3, 2011

ONE's Personality Too Many



ONE is a normal guy. Some call him a Boy - the way he talks. Some call him a Man - the way he looks. A goof by default, ONE does have a few moments of seriousness where he can sneak in a talk or two, that can demand deliberation. Alas! He has built such a "bad reputation" that his musings itself become his well-publicized jesters.



ONE has a peculiar style of talking to others. Infact, he has too many of those 'peculiar styles'. While some may call it a Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), ONE calls it Adjustment. It is not really that serious with ONE than with some other worst victims of DID. May be ONE fell short of 1 or 2 personalities more. May be!


ONE, the asocial Geek
ONE was a stupendous performer in school. He had the looks, he had the grades, he had that attitude which reflected a 'future personality of great significance'. The only thing ONE couldn't manage was pressure -
  • Pressure of being a good friend,
  • Pressure of being a responsible son,
  • Pressure of being a good obeyer of orders from his family, his teachers or whomsoever.
  • Pressure of being compared with other children.
In short, Pressure of being a normal Indian teenager. Indirect consequence of this pressure was that he always wanted to be behind the curtains. He avoided, specially his schoolmates, just to avoid being in the limelight because all he used to get from them was "ONE man, you're well off than us are, you'll make it big someday". Result? He was always caught up in two minds - whether he should continue being a glasses-laden, oily, salt-n-pepper hair, bookworm or should he be engrossed in his own self and remain in the backdrop.

ONE, the extrovert Wannabe
The habit of being in the backdrop cost ONE, one and half years of college. He realized soon, he was not the centre of attraction anymore. Should he have been thankful? Yes. Did he still feel uncomfortable? Yes. Why? Because he now started to feel embarrassed of being in the backdrop, realizing that everyone's a stud in college. ONE unconsciously kept deriving ways to get attention - through his humor, through his antiques, through his loudness. He didn't actually realize what he was doing, the way he was doing. It was purely unintentional, ONE can say. Maybe it was the 'equal and opposite Reaction' to his School-Geek 'Action' - (You know...Newton's Law).
It didn't matter now, whether it was his joke or whether he was the joke himself - which his surroundings laughed at. The transformation from an introvert to an extrovert was 180 degrees.


ONE, the confounding Rebel
Throughout his life, ONE did what his heart told him to do. But, most of the times he did what he was told not to do. You remember when you were a kid and your mother warned you against eating mud and you still had to try it. Then, somehow you even liked its taste and would sneak every now and then to the garden to give your taste buds a muddy pleasure. ONE was a similar case as a kid. The only difference is that - ONE still is. Rebellion has always been a way of life for ONE.


BUT...........
ONE finds himself in difficulty many a times when he is not sure of how he should act/respond. In the process, he starts developing personality-branches which are a mix of his already "well-developed" personalities.
  • At folks', ONE is always at a conflict between his asocial self and his extrovert self. On one hand, he doesn't want the attention, while on the other hand, he craves for attention from his loved ones. In the process, he absorbs every affection he gets, but reflects mere indifference.
  • At work, ONE is always on the lookout for new people to talk to. As soon as he finishes his day, he scoots for his home as if the lone wolf was freed from a cage of 100 other wolves.
  • At a bar, ONE would always down an extra drink even if he is not sure he could. Then, people around him expect him to be a crazy drunkard. Instead, to everyone's surprise the drunken ONE is as sombre as a midnight campfire.
ONE is now, in dire need of a melting pot for his personalities. He is always scared of acting in a way he was not supposed to or rather scared of acting in a way he has not been doing so far. All he needs is closure. Some closure..Some


4 comments:

  1. "Rebellion has always been a way of life."I agree with that.

    “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
    Ralph Waldo Emerson

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is beautifully written..

    ReplyDelete
  3. True said Nikhil

    Thanks a lot Yogini!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Nicely weaved together! Well written post..

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